Wasted Energy and Madness

They always say, you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family.  This is certainly true.  Science has even gone so far with genetic engineering, as far as plants and animals are concerned, to carefully select ideal characteristics and recreate.  The thought of doing this with people spooks me and falls under the lines of creating Hitler's Supreme race, although people all of the time, alter their appearances with plastic surgery, hair extensions, make-up, dieting, and the like.

There does come a day, as a parent, where there are qualities in your offspring or yourself that you certainly would not mind altering, if given the chance.  Certainly, that is why there is such a great market for prescription medicine.  Technology has come so far with what it can do to alter moods, behaviors, etc.  It is far from being a perfect science, and you can’t suppress all undesired behaviors.  Thank goodness for that!  Variance is the spice of life.  Still, to a large degree, as a society, there are certain behaviors, body images, etc. that are more accepted than others.

Take for instance, what if you had a child that continually mooed?  That is not a typo.  What if you had a child that continually mooed like a cow and found amusement with that?  To some degree, that might be ok and maybe under certain circumstances, such as when polite company is not around. 

Let’s take it a step further, so your child likes cows or cats or guinea pigs or some other animal and prefers them to humans, watches them on youtube, mass produces pictures of them off of the internet.  No big deal, but there comes a point, where obsessive behaviors get to a point that they become a living nightmare.  I’ve mentioned some, previously.  My daughter had an obsession with having blonde hair.  That became a nightmare.  She was extracting all of the brown and black hairs, when her hair is brown.  Not good!  Another obsession would be with food.  That, in so many ways, is bad.  It wreaks havoc on her body, on her health, and causes tension with her parents, the ones who purchase all of the food.

I’m pretty sure her obsession with food, started in the behavioral hospital.  She was prescribed a medicine called Zyprexa, which to me is synonymous with non-stop eating.  Fortunately, in the hospital, she was in a controlled-environment, where she could not eat at will.  At home, food management is not so easy.  In the summer time, we’ve resorted to setting aside foods that she can have during the day.  Otherwise, foods that we planned for meals during the week, such items as shrimp, macaroni and cheese, Pasta Alfredo, will all be gone.  The higher the fat content (candy, etc.) and the more desirable the food, the more likely it is that it will be gone.  We’ve had to put a padlock on the kitchen refrigerator and a lock on the pantry.  Talking to my daughter about good eating habits and moderation does no good.  You cannot make the unreasonable reasonable. 

At some point, we had to embrace her being “unreasonable” and create strategies to work with her.  All of the talking and reasoning in the world were wasted efforts or appear to be at this point and time.  Another thing, I’ve been reading about food obsession and food being like a drug and all.  That fits my daughter to a T, so it’s just hard to work with.  Every restaurant, every bill board sign, every food ad in magazines, coupons, etc. are all reminders to my daughter of that delectable food that she must have.

Around meal times and other times, she has this habit of walking in a circle.  She walks to where I am in the kitchen, making dinner, through the hall, the dining room, and back.  It drives me crazy!  I have asked her to take her “circle walk” outside or to another floor.  She refuses.  She is completely fixated on this.  What drives me nuts about it is she gets in my personal space, wants to know what I’m making, complain about what I’m making, wants to know how soon it will be ready, etc.  Many times, I’ve thought to myself about having a baby gate to where she can’t get to me or installing a door.  I think I’ll barricade the area with chairs next time, just to see if I can keep her at bay.  It probably won’t work, but it’s worth a try.  She does not understand the concept of needing personal space, at least not when it applies to me.

She especially doesn’t understand this idea of personal space, when I want to be left alone.  I’ll be reading in my room with the dog, who is quietly minding her own business.  She comes in, starts pestering the dog, jumping on my bed to the point to where I’m a raving lunatic, insisting that she gets out of my room.  She doesn’t readily listen, so I have to physically get her out.  That’s never enough either.  I have to lock the door.  It’s frustrating that I have to take all of those added steps with her, but over time, I’ve learned that that’s what works.  To deviate from what works is just wasted energy and madness.

The biggest behavioral problem I have with her though is not her tormenting me.  It’s her picking on her 9 year-old brother.  Ok, it’s sibling rivalry!  They pick on each other, but at some point, you can’t help but wishing that one of them would back down.  Traditionally, you would expect the 17 year old too, but her reasoning capabilities are way off the mark.  Then, you turn to the 9 year old.  Sad, but it’s true, and while he does reason better than his sister, his innate, boy make-up is to torment his sister and to push on her buttons, until she turns into a screaming banshee.  It usually winds up very ugly, and she outweighs him by at least 120 pounds.  She wants to cause bodily injury to her brother and does at some points.  Then, her brother cries and turns to me.  I’m somewhat sympathetic, but I’ve tried and tried to get those two to get along and to go against their innate tendencies towards strangling each other.  I never had a brother or sister, so I’m not entirely sure I get it or that I really know how to deal with them, except when things start getting out of control.  I do know though that I will NEVER trust by son alone with his sister and that she is almost of the adult age and her actions could get her arrested.  This doesn’t deter her either. L 

So, unfortunately, it’s a little late for genetic engineering with my offspring, and prescription medicine helps to some degree.  The rest is on me just to develop strategies and ways of coping to make not-so-pleasant behaviors more tolerable.