Friday, January 27, 2012

“Asperger’s Support Meeting”: Monday, November 14th from 7 PM-9 PM


Good evening!  My name is Kristal Heffley, and I am the proud mom of Amber Palmer, who is here with me tonight.  We have gone to the Asperger Support meetings off and on for a few years now and find them to be very beneficial and would encourage anyone wanting to learn more about Aspergers or needing support to come to these meetings.  What brought us to these meetings?  Her doctor had a flier about the group, and I thought it would be a good idea to learn more about Aspergers and to be around other parents, who have problems in common with our family.  Does anyone have a special story of why they’re here that they would like to share?

The reason I am here before you tonight is because I had asked Kara if she would mind if I mentioned to you about a group that I’m in, Toastmasters, because I think it could be beneficial to people with Aspergers and even their parents.  Both Kara and Sue thought it would be a good idea to talk about, so here I am.

So, does anyone know what Toastmasters is?  -- Toastmasters is a group that started in 1924 and was founded by Ralph Smedley.  Ralph was the director of the YMCA in Santa Ana, California and started the first TMs in the basement of his facility, after recognizing that many patrons needed help in the art of public speaking and in presiding over meetings.  The idea caught on, and pretty soon, other states started adopting TM programs.  In about 10 years in 1935, TMs went international, when the first TM organization was established in Victoria, British Columbia in Canada.  Today, TMs can be found worldwide in 116 countries with over 13,000 clubs and 270,000 plus members.

I belong to a group called Johnny Appleseed TMs, which meets across from the Coliseum on Parnell Ave on Friday mornings at 7:30 at the BBB, which is where I work.  I’ve been a member for over 5 years and was recently elected to President in my club, so that’s part of why I’m here. I’m here to promote it, but I wouldn’t be doing it, if I didn’t think it would be beneficial.  We welcome anyone to our meetings, and have a very nice, fun loving, and informal group.  There are also other clubs around Ft Wayne that meet at different times and locations to meet people’s individual needs.  A listing of the clubs and times can be found online, simply by googling “Fort Wayne Toastmasters”. This is my biz card, for anyone who might like to learn more about our meetings or if you know of someone, who could benefit.

Toastmasters was designed to help people overcome their fear of speaking in front of audiences.  The way we do that is by practicing in front of a small, informal group on a regular basis.  We take turns giving talks, ranging anywhere from 60 seconds, which is called a “Table Topic”, to about 5 - 7 minutes for a prepared speech.  Those of us, who don’t have assigned speaking parts are doing other things such as timing a speech, evaluating the speakers, introducing the speakers and evaluators, among other assigned roles.  Each week, we come together to help each other improve our speaking skills.  It’s just like a physical work out.  If you keep at it, you get better over time.   

Personally, the reason I joined Toastmasters is because a friend suggested it to me to build my confidence up so I would be comfortable giving talks as President of this organization I belonged to.  While I did not accept that role, Toastmasters did help build my confidence, and I kept going and have made a lot of improvement in my presentation skills over the years.

The reason I think Toastmasters would be helpful to young adults on the Autism spectrum is because I have witnessed positive changes in so many different people, just for being a part of this program.  I have seen people, who didn’t speak native English, improve their speaking and become more articulate.  Individuals with speaking impediments have improved their talking and confidence level, simply by being a part of a support group that is patient and willing to work with them to overcome difficulties.  Individuals, who are socially awkward, can learn better skills from evaluators, by having a mentor, and by observing the good example of others.  (*See http://www.toastmasters.org/MainMenuCategories/WhyJoin/SuccessStories/MeetLisaBishop2.aspx.)

Also, I know Travis or John has brought up interviewing in here and how difficult that can be.  One thing we do in TMs gives extremely good practice for interview questions.  It is called the “Table Topic” session, where a person will ask you a question, and you have to answer it in 60 seconds or less.  You are taught to answer a question by answering it with an introduction, body, and conclusion, just like you would when writing a paragraph.  If you master answering questions this way, it can help prepare you for interview questions that might normally intimidate you.  It helps you be able to master the art of giving spontaneous answers.  Would anyone like to volunteer to try a Table Topic question?  I have (candy) for anyone who’d like to volunteer. :-)

On a personal note, I want to tell you how the group has helped me.  I have been in the group for about 5 years.  One of the first things I noticed at work was my emails to my bosses and coworkers dramatically improved.  I wrote more effective, coherent messages, and could make my point quickly and efficiently, which bosses like.  I started taking on leadership roles in the organization.  At one point, I was coordinating book fairs and blood drives, training managers on new systems processes, and heading the Emergency Action Team, which involved teaching employees on emergency procedures.  It opened up a lot of doors for me, and with every new opportunity that has come along, I admit I still feel fear, but it doesn’t stop me in my tracks, like it might have at one time. 

I tend to think of fear in terms of diving into a pool.  Initially, it’s kind of scary.  The water might be cold.  You really just don’t know what to expect, and that cold water might be painful.  Over time, though, after having jumped into that water enough times, you start to realize that the experience isn’t all that bad.  In fact, you might start enjoying it after a while and even start viewing it as a challenge and even exciting.  I can attest to it that from my experience, I honestly do look forward to new speaking challenges.  It helps me to learn and grow as a person.

Another door that TMs has opened up for me is I am better able to talk about my daughter’s Aspergers, which is so important, when talking to family, friends, neighbors, teachers, community resources, etc.  I have written a couple of speeches about my experiences with Aspergers and entered one of them in a competition last year and won 2nd place at the Area level.  Because I was involved in that, my audience that I was educating about Aspergers increased that much more, every time I gave that speech.  And what is it exactly that we try to promote here?  Education.  The more people that understand and know about Aspergers, the better we can all get along.  My primary purpose in writing that speech was to educate others about my journey of being an Aspie mom.  Of course, as you all know, that journey continues on for the rest of your life and is actually rather difficult to cut down to a 7 ½ minute talk. 

Also, one of my friends encouraged me to start a blog, based on that speech, and I did.  That was an interesting experience in itself and further got the word out that way too.  I heard from people I’d never heard from before.  Then, I experimented with recording videos and posting them to youtube, which I did as part of my speech rehearsal.  So for me I have had quite the educational journey with TMs, and I just think it can be beneficial to a lot of people in so many ways, especially if you are able to communicate better and can teach others what we so desperately need them to understand.   

I guess at this point I just wondered if anyone had any questions about anything I’ve talked about.  If not, I’ll share with you a light-hearted video I made about some of the funnier experiences I have had with being Amber’s mom.  http://youtu.be/NZxJX-2GW_Q


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